How to be Okay with Things Not Being Okay

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This is the inaugural post of my How to be Okay with Things Not Being Okay series and it’s going to be my outlet for processing my feelings for when things don’t turn out the way I want them to. Like I said in this previous blog post, this isn’t a new concept. It’s a facet of life that will never stop happening but I think it’ll be good for me to think it out, write it down, and have these introspective thoughts somewhere that I can go back to.

It’s really important for me to understand why I’m feeling a certain way. For example, if I’m upset about something, I want to understand exactly why that is, why I don’t need to feel that way anymore, and how to proceed going forward. I guess it’s the science lover in me that needs to pinpoint exact causes and reasons for everything. There are logical ways of getting to a better place and mindset and I plan on actively getting there, and these blogs are going to help.

The key component in this acceptance process is the “being active” part of it. It’s not as if once you believe you’ve overcome something, that it’s done right then and there. Those feelings can come back because they don’t just go away forever when you tell them to. I wish it were like that because that’d be a lot easier for everyone but alas, the human mind is a complicated mess. I’m going to at least try to tidy up the mess going on in my head, and it’s something I’ll have to work at to accomplish every day.

Oftentimes, I’ll see or hear something that triggers a memory and the triggers that affect me the most conjure up the painful memories, the ones I’d much rather forget. But I’m not interested in repressing things I don’t want to deal with. That’s not healthy for me. As much as I want to just ignore every bad thing and icky feeling, that ignorance or suppression of my thoughts and feelings is ultimately detrimental. This is going to be a painful process to look inward and be honest with myself but I’m ready for the challenge. I’m ready to move on knowing that there are better things to look forward to.

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Nancy Hoang created Hopeless Thunder in 2007. She conducts the interviews, writes the articles, photographs the concerts, and handles the site's coding & design. (Basically, she's a control freak.) Her work can also be seen on music publication, CMJ. Contact Nancy for image licensing, assignments, or just to say hi.